January 29, 2010
Today, was the last day of exams... its about time. I had my Science 10 final and I only got about 2 hours to study. It was one of those nights where nothing seemed to go quite as planned and being home alone never really helps anyways since I tend to have an intense fear of a random home invasion... Yes, too many Criminal Minds episodes for me.
As I was studying I continued to get text messages from 2 guys in particular. One from a guy who likes me at school.. the other another guy who likes me from another school who I barely know and expects me to go out with him... kids these days.
Well, the guy from school decided it would pretty awesome to not talk to me attempting to stop liking me.... ya.. stupid plan, thats what i thought. But, from the past few months I have talked to this guy almost everyday, and about almost every part of my life. It was nice to have someone to talk to who didnt judge me or make me feel bad. But the down side was whenever i talked to him it seemed he got more and more in love with me as you could say. And im not just full of myself, he has told me these things... which makes our relationship twice as weird.
The 2nd guy, wow. Um, a sentence to describe him would be whenever i talk to him i feel i need to talk a shower and rid my body of his creepy words... hes slimy and creepy and ew. I cant imagine EVER going out with him. A quote from when he asked me out... "I just want someone to cuddle with..." I laughed at the computer screen.. (Yes, he asked me out over Facebook.)
The problem that im coming to by explaining this is, it seems the only guy i can get to like me (Not like love matters at my age, at least not to me.) is the weird ones like Thing 1 and 2 over here. I like this guy at my school, who also goes to my church and my youth group and im going on a missions trip with him. Hes amazing. I cant pick one bad thing about him, we're perfect. At least i think so. For some reason, I really dont think he likes me or ever will. I usually say that to myself to avoid pain and rejection but it doesnt work too often. I just wonder, Will this rollercoaster of emotional heartbreak ever end? after 15 years of it, you'd think...
What do you think? Is anyone even reading this?
Let me now.
As I was studying I continued to get text messages from 2 guys in particular. One from a guy who likes me at school.. the other another guy who likes me from another school who I barely know and expects me to go out with him... kids these days.
Well, the guy from school decided it would pretty awesome to not talk to me attempting to stop liking me.... ya.. stupid plan, thats what i thought. But, from the past few months I have talked to this guy almost everyday, and about almost every part of my life. It was nice to have someone to talk to who didnt judge me or make me feel bad. But the down side was whenever i talked to him it seemed he got more and more in love with me as you could say. And im not just full of myself, he has told me these things... which makes our relationship twice as weird.
The 2nd guy, wow. Um, a sentence to describe him would be whenever i talk to him i feel i need to talk a shower and rid my body of his creepy words... hes slimy and creepy and ew. I cant imagine EVER going out with him. A quote from when he asked me out... "I just want someone to cuddle with..." I laughed at the computer screen.. (Yes, he asked me out over Facebook.)
The problem that im coming to by explaining this is, it seems the only guy i can get to like me (Not like love matters at my age, at least not to me.) is the weird ones like Thing 1 and 2 over here. I like this guy at my school, who also goes to my church and my youth group and im going on a missions trip with him. Hes amazing. I cant pick one bad thing about him, we're perfect. At least i think so. For some reason, I really dont think he likes me or ever will. I usually say that to myself to avoid pain and rejection but it doesnt work too often. I just wonder, Will this rollercoaster of emotional heartbreak ever end? after 15 years of it, you'd think...
What do you think? Is anyone even reading this?
Let me now.
I have. Erica, I love you and I stand in amazement of what I have read here. You are sooo funny but yet you are so real and so caring and so thoughtful about your interactions as a young girl. I marvel at your dependence on God on what He has laid on your heart at such a young age. You could not know at the time you had this blog what your life would be like now. It is amazing for me to read this (although you may not like it that I stumbled upon it) Do not ever regret what you were like here because it is a big part of who you are today. You may see this as an awkward and miserable time of your life filled with confusion but it really is a very important time of your life and I loved reading this. Never forget who you are Erica, never forget that your heavenly father loves you far more than I ever could. I want to hug this girl again and give her a glimpse of all that is in store for her...God has a plan for your life girlie and He knows what He is doing!
ReplyDeleteLove you kid, your mama :)